Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
