i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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