That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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