I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize