moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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