quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
