That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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