separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
