She's JV to your varsity
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
