so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize