I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
