I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Everyone says I win the strip club
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
