the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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