Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
