yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize