Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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