But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize