I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
