Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize
