remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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