Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Terrible idea I love it
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
