So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
i believe in u and ur pee
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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