Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Randomize
