at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
