I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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