Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Randomize
