Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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