wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
