i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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