You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
