he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Randomize
