And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
