Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Randomize
