Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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