Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
