I'm going to jail i love you
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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