that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
