i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
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