Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
