Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
