Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
