So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
