oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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