The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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