holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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