Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Randomize
