5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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