just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize