oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
