I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
