they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
