everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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