Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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