69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
