I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
