so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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