Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
