John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Never underestimate the power of titties
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
