And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
