You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
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