Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize