At least make sure they are 18
Why
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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