oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
