I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Randomize
