can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize