I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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