when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
