He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
