why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize