Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
where are you?
Hypothermia
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
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