I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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