What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
