who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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